Annual Thanksgiving Cold.

Thanksgiving Cold is a poor little bear that is also suffering from cold.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Wednesday.

Finally, off to san jose to see familia! Yeeee~~~!!!!
Happy cloud smooshes and happy blood abounds!!!

Happy Tuesday.

Happy Monday.

OMG.

To think that the boys in the system room (RIGHT next to the girl's bathroom) have sat there unintentionally listening to me in the bathroom for the past two years makes me feel more violated than all of the harassment they've intentionally inflicted on me put together!!!

Office HowTo #1

Working with my gaggle of middle aged men has taught me some very valuable life-lessons, one of which i'd like to share with you today. (warning: you must be female to execute the following howto.)

How to Motivate (and/or manipulate) your very own middle aged man in three words or less (Coincides with: "how to motivate any male toddler in three words or less"):

1) Prep the proper tone of voice. Your voice should be at least an octave higher than your regular voice. Your tone is tooth-achingly sweet, near-condescendinly fake, and manically over-enthusiastic, yet NOT sarcastic. Sarcasm will always and immediately be detected and will instantly crush your middle aged man's pride and cause him to do the exact opposite of what you need him to be doing for you.
2) Choose a word expressing amazement: WOW!, OMG!, CraZy!, Goodness Gracious! Or simply produce a theatrical gasp of astonishment.
3) Choose an adjective. stick to simple english for best results.
4) Combine steps 1-3 and watch the magic. Different combinations can be used to different effect. i.e: if you need a middle-aged man to carry heavy boxes for you ("WOW! so STRONG!"), if you need a middle-aged man to clean your cubicle ("OMG! so CLEAN!"), if you need a middle aged man to fix your computer ("OMG! so SMART!") etc.

Busy Bee.

In November, the office starts to take on an energy wrought from desperation not unlike that of a severely procrastinated college student faced with completion of a 12 page paper one hour left to class. Our deadline is the Consumer Electronics show held in Las Vegas every January. Thus every November, not only do the boys start to run around at a pace 12% faster than usual, but I suddenly find myself as a one-person PR department (which only exists in Nov-Dec) producing press releases and marketing material like a maniac. Tis fun :)

Glamorous.

When no one is looking, of course! Teehee!

BNGN1

Bad News: The main office printer finally dies after spasming for two weeks.
Good News: The printer repairman looks exactly like Antonio Banderas!!!!!

Euphoria.

Whilst walking about the overcrowded Grove mall in LA, I almost ran into a couple holding hands walking in the opposite direction. Since I hadn't much time to move aside for them, they had to let go of each other's hands in order to let me pass through. As I watched in what felt like slo-mo their lovey-dovey little hands relectantly let go of each others' before me, i felt an inexplicable sense of glee and well-being rise up from within the deep dark recesses of my being. New hobby? I think so.

I Can Do It!

Office Tension.

I Has Flat Hair.

susan ftw!

I'm not scared of you, freezing-antarctic-meatlocker/icebox-of-an-office, you!

FAQ.

(Disclaimer: the psuedo-rant below is not targeted at a specific person. The sarcasm is drawn from exasperation, not anger, and is meant all in good jest.)

You'd really be surprised how many times a week i get asked this question. Most ask with innocent wonderment, some with awe, some with a twinge of jealousy, and still some with thinly veiled hurt as if i'm tall on purpose just to spite short boys the world over and also to simultaneously strip this entire short-boy populous of their pride and masculinity.

NEWS FLASH: asking "why are you so tall?" is as valid a question as asking "why are you asian?" or "why is your hair black?" -- that is: it is not a valid question at all. i had no more choice or say in my being tall than i had in being born korean. the sheer ridiculousness of this question does not cease to irk me. So please just take one of the answers below and let it satisfy any and all urges you may have to utter this type of foolishness ever again.

A1: Because I eat hormones for breakfast and steroids for dinner every day.
A2: Because I sneak into your bedroom and steal small amounts of height from you every night.
A3: Because of these magic beans that I got from an old lady who gave it to me in payment for our family cow.
A4: Because I was blessed with better genes than you. the end.

home sweet home.

TGIF

Friday is the best day EVAR!!! Therefore it only makes absolute sense that if Friday were a person, he'd be HAWT. Because friday is awesome like that, and because if i'm going to draw myself tackling someone, i might as well be tackling someone hot. like friday. because he's hot. because i say so. because this is MY blog not yours and i can draw whatever i WANT :)

Chika-Time!

You know you are working (and/or have worked too long) with koreans when it is normal for everyone in the office to brush their teeth after lunch every day.

Glee.

Attempted to make coffee in the morning only to find that the coffee maker had broken!
A solid 30 minutes of glee ensues.

...Before pesky operations manager ups and fixes it, simultaneously smashing my glee to smithereens. glee effectively dies in pieces not unlike a family of unsuspecting deer hit and run over by a bigrig.

Halp!

I cannot, for the life of me, stop eating. no matter how much food i shovel in i do not feel satiated. After mustering all the knowledge acquired through copious years of higher education, the only logically sound and plausible reason i can produce for this is that somehow, from somewhere, at sometime unbeknownst to me, a black hole has decided to take up permanent residence inside my stomach.

Sparkle Shine!

Laundry Day.

Truly a moment of revelation, the day i realized that not separating loads and running the lot of it on a cold water cycle would keep colors from bleeding into whites and save me so much time.