Mr. Tour Guide Man

Hi everyone!
I’m back in California and uber-ready to share of my adventures in the East Coast, all of which were shared with this here Mr. Tour Guide Man, who, even after traveling together across nine different states over a period of a week, I still unfortunately failed to glean the name of.
It was of utmost surprise to all five members of my family when we arrived to find that the tour group would be comprised not just of a couple families, but more than 300 people in six separate buses. Also of utmost surprise was that the tourists were comprised of 99.9% (0.1% being my family) of Koreans from Korea who have never in their lives stepped foot in the US ever. In the end, we overcame the strangeness and loved every moment and got super close to all the people on our bus to the point that if any strange new person ever came on, all us OG bus crew would shun them as a mass.
But by far the greatest most awesome thing about our Korean tour: Mr. Tour Guide’s very informative and grossly incorrect lessons about “Americans and Their Culture”, a few of these gems I would like to honor as posts throughout the duration of this week so every one of you can be informed on how to be properly American.
Because as it turns out, WE ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG.