Robot Vacuum.

Hello world! Meet our brand spanking new super shiny super red ridiculously awesome brand spanking new robot vacuum! (insert: cheers) We’re thrilled to welcome this new addition to our home and are expecting to happily brutally exploit him until his last little robot brain juice is sapped from picking up after crumb-dropping two girls both with strands of long hair that can be found in more copious amounts on the ground rather than on our scalps.

Photoshoot.

This is perhaps most definitely why my thighs will burn for days after a photo shoot (it burns, it burns!).

There’s something about looking at beautiful people through a lens that triggers my brain to OD on an intense house-cocktail of adrenaline/endorphins/serotonin, and it becomes so intoxicated and happy that before I know it, I’ve just done enough squats, jumps, running, and advanced yoga moves worth a 2 hour long boot camp workout!

You can visit our I61studio Facebook page to check out J and my latest photos :D

Boyband.

After successfully surviving her tween-teen years without a single Kpop boyband obsession, Susan, at age 25 (now much older than the average boy band member), suddenly and belatedly finds herself as the boyband-crazed teen she never was.

With enough deluded fervor to put any tween to shame.

MAM.

Middle-aged Asian Men (aka: MAM) are probably one of the most ignorant breed of people I have ever encountered.

Note: The MAM I refer to here and anywhere are un-americanized asian MAM. They are often genuinely kind hearted and good people, though their ignorance causes much harm. This is a small sampling of some of their ignorant and unintentional-though-extremely-offensive ways.



Any Asian female taller than 5’4’’ to a MAM is the object of utmost shock and amazement. MAMs NEVER refer to a tall Asian female as “tall”, as they prefer far more delicate terms such as “big” and “hefty”. They are also proponents of extreme profiling and treat the following stereotypes as utter truth:

1.All tall Asian females eat a lot
MAMs consider tall females to be not unlike elephants or the great blue whale in the animal world that need to be shoveling food into their mouths at all times in order to maintain the extreme energy they feel it must take for tall females to stay in existence. Whenever I can’t finish an entrée and leave food on my plate, the first reaction is: “Wow, you are so big but eat so little, won’t you be hungry?” As crass as this sounds, they are genuinely worried for my life. They literally think I will drop dead in T-10 seconds.

2.All tall Asian females have no fear of anything
Still another thing that absolutely confounds the MAM is when I freak out over bugs. Because of course tall Asian females were born in a lava pit 30,000 leagues under the sea and should by default possess no human fears of anything. Thus when I stage a royal freak out over bugs, their first reaction: “Wow how can someone so big be so scared?”

3.All tall Asian females never feel cold
MAMs think tall Asian females are impermeable to weakness, natural disasters, and/or all extreme temperature conditions. I happen to get cold very easily, and during the winter months, will commonly be found swathed in multiple layers of shirts, sweaters, jackets, and scarves. To this their first reaction: “Wow, you are so big how can you feel so cold?”

An excerpt from “Study of MAM” published by The Foundation for the Education of Ignorant Middle-Aged Asian Men © 2011

In Love.

…with a DOG (gasp!)!

A friend’s very very cat-like Shetland sheepdog happened to be the cutest, fluffliest, sweetest, non-smelly-est little doggie I’ve ever come across and was everything dogs (in my perception) are not! I’m definitely making an exception to my I-LOVE-CATS-ONLY-FOREVER-BOO-HISSS-TO-DOGS policy for this doggie :)

Pincher Bug.

Fig. A: Spotted a “pincher” bug climbing up a wall


Fig. B: Icked out but decided that the bug is far enough away, and ventures a telepathic treaty in which both parties, pincher bug and Susan, shall keep respectable distance from the other and nobody will get hurt in acts of senseless violence.

Just when bug looks to be continuing on its merry way, bug goes KAMIKAZE:


Fig. C: Bug launches itself off the wall and DIVEBOMBS toward my face!!!!!

Fortunately for me, the terrorist-bug miscalculated the trajectory of his launch and ended up belly-up on my desk instead of on my FACE as likely intended. This battle is won (accidentally) by me but the war continues…

Minor annoyances.

When you realize only after you've started pumping that the pump handle is missing the lever-holder-thing and you end up standing awkwardly outside in the cold holding the lever up while your coche takes its sweet time nomming.

Watermelon Season.

You know it’s watermelon season when even without magical watermelon picking powers (which I sadly do not possess), any random watermelon you choose from the market is good and they only cost two bucks a pop to boot!

Dear my favorite fruit in the whole world: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sleep Deprived.

Fig. A: Susan sighted wobbling about on a sunny afternoon

Hullo, mates! I'm still alive!


Fig. B: Close up

... barely.