Note: The MAM I refer to here and anywhere are un-americanized asian MAM. They are often genuinely kind hearted and good people, though their ignorance causes much harm. This is a small sampling of some of their ignorant and unintentional-though-extremely-offensive ways.
Any Asian female taller than 5’4’’ to a MAM is the object of utmost shock and amazement. MAMs NEVER refer to a tall Asian female as “tall”, as they prefer far more delicate terms such as “big” and “hefty”. They are also proponents of extreme profiling and treat the following stereotypes as utter truth:
1.All tall Asian females eat a lot
MAMs consider tall females to be not unlike elephants or the great blue whale in the animal world that need to be shoveling food into their mouths at all times in order to maintain the extreme energy they feel it must take for tall females to stay in existence. Whenever I can’t finish an entrée and leave food on my plate, the first reaction is: “Wow, you are so big but eat so little, won’t you be hungry?” As crass as this sounds, they are genuinely worried for my life. They literally think I will drop dead in T-10 seconds.
2.All tall Asian females have no fear of anything
Still another thing that absolutely confounds the MAM is when I freak out over bugs. Because of course tall Asian females were born in a lava pit 30,000 leagues under the sea and should by default possess no human fears of anything. Thus when I stage a royal freak out over bugs, their first reaction: “Wow how can someone so big be so scared?”
3.All tall Asian females never feel cold
MAMs think tall Asian females are impermeable to weakness, natural disasters, and/or all extreme temperature conditions. I happen to get cold very easily, and during the winter months, will commonly be found swathed in multiple layers of shirts, sweaters, jackets, and scarves. To this their first reaction: “Wow, you are so big how can you feel so cold?”
An excerpt from “Study of MAM” published by The Foundation for the Education of Ignorant Middle-Aged Asian Men © 2011
Oh you are so clever :)
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