Waiter Boy.

Here I am at my favorite local crawfish restaurant for an early dinner with friend A, waiting patiently for the waiter boy to turn around so I could achieve eye contact which would signal him that we were ready to order. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night prior and thus was experience something of a brain slush, which is what explains the goofy blank expression. After a couple minutes of staring at his back, the boy turned around and we got eye contact.

I smiled at him in what I thought was adequate signaling, but much to my surprise the boy just turned back around and busied himself with other things. A couple moments later, it happened again!

After a few more times of this strange occurence, I was getting more than a bit confuzzled when A interjected and unwearyingly explained that a stare+smile was NOT standard social procedure for flagging down a waiter in a restaurant. She then displayed proper restaurant protocol with the "Excuse me"+ hand raise and the boy immediately flew thither to our table to take our order.

It was only as the waiter boy left with our order when everything that had just transpired started making HORRIFIC AND ABSOLUTE SENSE.

What I had intended to be innocent nonverbal signaling for him to come take our order..

Fig. A: What I thought I looked like.

...The waiter boy had misconstrued as a lecherous freak woman checking him out (!!!!)

Fig. B: What terrified waiter boy thought I looked like.

Alas! My reputation at that restaurant: tarnished!!! :(