Working with my gaggle of middle aged men has taught me some very valuable life-lessons, one of which i'd like to share with you today. (warning: you must be female to execute the following howto.)
How to Motivate (and/or manipulate) your very own middle aged man in three words or less (Coincides with: "how to motivate any male toddler in three words or less"):
1) Prep the proper tone of voice. Your voice should be at least an octave higher than your regular voice. Your tone is tooth-achingly sweet, near-condescendinly fake, and manically over-enthusiastic, yet NOT sarcastic. Sarcasm will always and immediately be detected and will instantly crush your middle aged man's pride and cause him to do the exact opposite of what you need him to be doing for you.
2) Choose a word expressing amazement: WOW!, OMG!, CraZy!, Goodness Gracious! Or simply produce a theatrical gasp of astonishment.
3) Choose an adjective. stick to simple english for best results.
4) Combine steps 1-3 and watch the magic. Different combinations can be used to different effect. i.e: if you need a middle-aged man to carry heavy boxes for you ("WOW! so STRONG!"), if you need a middle-aged man to clean your cubicle ("OMG! so CLEAN!"), if you need a middle aged man to fix your computer ("OMG! so SMART!") etc.
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