Stand Up Paddle Boarding.

Years of seeing seals only from a formidable distance from an overhang as they lay like fecal deposits on the shore comically and laboriously bouncing a couple inches to and fro on the sand could do nothing to prepare me for meeting one as big as my board popping up a mere inches away as I stood floating in the middle of the ocean completely alone and long separated from my friends. Alaska documentaries and “Happy Feet” segments of violent monster seals ruthlessly chomping and dragging fish and penguins to their watery deaths started to replay feverishly in my head and I stood frozen lest I provoke it to make a penguin out of me. What probably was only a couple seconds stretched out like weeks before it got bored of me, and considering me to be lame entertainment, slipped back into the ocean and away.



"What up ese?"


*Silent Screams of terror*