Airport Van.

Five minutes to the airport

In my wallet in my purse on my lap in the airport van en route to the airport is exactly $0 of cash with which to tip the driver.

I had hoped upon hoped whilst waiting for the van’s arrival in the hotel lobby that the driver would be an irritating jerk or at least my horrible first grade teacher Mr. Burns so I wouldn’t feel as bad about not tipping. Alas, when the van arrived, out popped THE most courteous, friendly, polite driver (CFPD) man ever.

Four minutes to the airport

The CFPD man makes a little friendly small talk but never too much as to become annoying or overbearing. The music in the van is loud enough that the van is not awkwardly silent, yet quiet enough not to get on anyone’s nerves or disturb conversation.

Three minutes to the airport

The CFPD man cheerfully asks if anybody in the van would like some water, after which he doles out some cold bottles from a little icebox between the two front seats.

JUST KILL ME WITH KINDNESS WHY DON'T YOU.

One minute to the airport 

MARRIOT HOTEL Y U HIRE SUCH CFPD VAN DRIVERS 

CFPD MAN Y U SO CFPD 

WALLET Y U NO HAVE CASH