Monday, March 28, 2011

The Art of Eating Alone.


The art of eating alone is a delicate craft rarely gifted naturally, but built up painstakingly through time and and grit. It requires thick skin and a nonchalant air with a complete disregard for any other human life forms in the vicinity. I myself, being of very thin-skinned construction, have only recently attained EAP(Eating Alone in Public) Level 2 which includes an upgrade from eating to-go food in the car to eating alone in fast food places, though this is restricted to lunches only.


Though a measly Level 2 (Highest level: 20), it still took me great amounts of strategamizing to get to this point, the greatest of all the tactics in my EAP arsenal being what I call:

THE GLAZE.


Instead of suffering and darting your eyes around trying to find a resting place for your gaze for the duration of your sammich, just look straight ahead, unfocus your eyes, and let em just naturally glaze over. You will immediately look deep in thought and be instantly free to eat with no awareness of anyone around you! J'AMAZING!


Sidenote: The unseemly side effect of looking like a total creep may possibly most likely definitely will occur.
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6 comments:

  1. salvationMarch 28, 2011 at 11:07 PM

    your level of courage is unfathomable! i hate hate hate hate hate eating alone in public places. i've eaten on stair cases to avoid eating alone in public!

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  2. SusanMarch 29, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    yep.. eating alone is definitely an aquired skill -_-;;... unless you are born with thick skin ha

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  3. D.L.March 30, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    For people at level 20, I believe they could eat at a fancy Italian restaurant alone and be awesome. Or at someone's wedding.

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  4. SusanMarch 30, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    lolll DL!!!
    i kid you not, my friend J is a level 20 and eats steaks for dinner at sit-down family restaurants by herself... and buffets!!!!

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  5. glo soApril 2, 2011 at 11:36 PM

    OMG. scary...

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  6. AnonymousMarch 19, 2017 at 2:07 AM

    Hi guys ! This page is created for you if you want share your table while you're travelling and feel uncomfortable about eating alone. Seems that lot of people has this feeling in travel ! Feel free to comment and add some new ideas !

    If you like this idea, like this page and join our group !

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1574363182583933/

    ReplyDelete

Show me some LOVE~ <3

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