New Car.

I named my new car Seal!
And what better way to commemorate this momentous occasion then with haiku:

Silver Seal so sleek

Splendid super in the sea

Of cars so shiny

Bye Pinky.

http://susandraws.blogspot.com/2010/11/pinky-gogo.html

Here begins an ode to my faithful car of five years, Pinky A. Gogo, composed entirely in recycled drawings from past posts just for kicks. As per le deal with my parents, my baby brother is now of driving age and the time has come to ceremoniously bequeath Pinky unto him.

We've been through much together, Pinky an I:

http://susandraws.blogspot.com/2009/09/chance-meeting.html

Four speeding tickets,

http://susandraws.blogspot.com/2010/02/flat-tire.html

Two flat tires,

http://susandraws.blogspot.com/2010/05/flat-tire-2.html

and many many shared hours of speed racing, hydroplaning, chronic tailgating, and Yogurt Land runs.

http://susandraws.blogspot.com/2010/01/yogurt-land-incident.html

Bye forever, Pinky! Or as my kickboxing instructor would say: CHEERS! PEACE OUT! ONE LOVE!

Chopped 2.

Le Winner: SALVATION!! *Slow claps*

Chopped.

Lately I've become an avid viewer of the Food Channel show “Chopped”.

At first I watched it because it just so happened to be on at the same time I was at the gym and it was the much better alternative over the ridiculous Real Housewives of Orange County/Beverly Hills/Atlanta/Wherever-else on Bravo.

Then I continued watching because I found it to be highly entertaining and addictive.

Presently, in addition to the first two reasons, I’ve developed a celeb-crush on one of the judges.

POP QUIZ:

WHICH OF THESE CHOPPED JUDGES DOES SUSAN FANCY?!

Post your answer in the comments section below for a chance to receive untold riches beyond your wildest imaginations!!!**

**This promotion does not include any and all objects or purchased items with a sales value that exceeds $0 and applies only to one of the following rewards: bragging rights during the 5 minute period immediately following the moment the winner is announced, a hearty thumbs up administered through the internet by the use of the following typed-emoticon: ^^b, a deeply reverential slow clap typed into the comments section following the winner’s name with the following action-type: *slow claps*.

Old Habits.

Old habits die hard.

The first thing I’ve always done every time my phone alarm jolts me awake in the morning, for the entirety of my adult life, is to just randomly whip and whap my right hand all over my side table looking for my glasses so I can get out of bed as a seeing person. Even way after after my ICL surgery I still catch myself doing this before belatedly realizing that I don't wear glasses anymore!

Blogger.

Fig. A: Conversation in progress

After a couple years of SusanDraws-ing I've come across a slightly irksome downside to having most of my friends be regular readers: Everyone I know knows all my stories!!! D:

I love telling stories in typical super-hyped-up SusanSpeak fashion with hands-a-motionin wildly and spittle-a-flyin, and it’s especially irritating when I get all revved up to tell a really good story

THEY ALREADY KNOW IT.

Fig. E: Conversation Terminated

Awkward silence ensues.

It is very much not unlike having everyone in the entire world know the punch line to EVERY JOKE YOU EVER TELL BEFORE YOU TELL IT.

FOREVER ALONE.

ICL 2.

So exactly two weeks ago I underwent ICL surgery and this is the 100% historically accurate account of what transpired after the surgery was successfully completed and I was gently roused from my sedation by the deep silky voice of my hot single doctor-friend:

Cue dramatic swells of operatic background music as hot single doctor-friend and Susan embrace in unmitigated joy.

JUST KIDDING BET YOU THOUGHT IT WAS REAL AND ALSO GUESS WHAT SANTA IS NOT REAL EITHER.

In real life my doctor was not hot or single or my friend. Also my hair is nowhere near as voluminous. Also my eyes are not that big. Also I look nothing like that.

So starting over: Having made a ton of hoopla about the anesthesia, it actually turned out to be more than a bit anticlimactic because they didn’t give me enough to cause the delightful hallucinatory effect I had been buzzing about (J was right all along). In fact, the sedation was SO slight that I woke up in the surgery room before the procedure was even over (actual surgery only takes about 15 minutes per eye).

And the timing could not have been worse - I gained consciousness right the moment before they started MERCILESSLY RIPPING ALL THE TAPE OFF MY FACE.

I’m not exactly sure how much they had on there (I’m assuming it was there to keep my eyes open and the oxygen tube thingy in place) but it felt like an awful lot and was easily the most painful part of the entire procedure.

Then they wheeled my bed back into a waiting room, hooked me up to all sorts of beeping things, and had me lie there dying of thirst for 30 minutes

So sexy. 

 before the nurses pronounced me stabilized and offered me some apple juice and a nutrigrain bar that tasted not unlike a heaping mouthful of sand.

My pupils proceeded to stay dilated for the entire rest of the day (spent it in bed), so I couldn’t see much, but the very next morning I could see amazingly :)

Bye forever my coke bottle glasses.