WNTT 2.

Ooh lookie here i totally forgot that I drew this :D

You might be the cutest princess wabbit with most adowable big fluffy tail in all the land of cute fluffy animals:

Once you say the phrase-which-must-not-be-named you are immediately re-categorized as EVIL.

WNTT.

There is not much else in this world that has the ability to cause as much psychological aggravation as these particular four words put together. Though as individual words they may be innocent as pies, combined into a phrase they become something far, FAR more dreadful.

Even worse is that the offender that delivers said phrase ALWAYS refuses to divulge whatever needs to be said on the spot/over the phone/through email but insists on setting an appointment for a later date. For a person with as inane an active imagination as me, this is the equivalent of an excruciatingly slow and torturous death via being hung upside down over a pit with two tiny punctures on each side of my head made to eventually drain all the blood out of my body in the longest time possible.

I might react cool as a cat on the outside:

Fig. A: Nothing to see here but the coolest cat ever, yep.

But inside my brain has already initiated T-0 to flipping out.

Fig. B: PLEASE JUST TELL ME AND PUT MY OUT OF MY MISERY

My dear friends and family and acquaintances and anyone else, please have the decency to just shoot me. I’m pretty sure I can handle whatever it is you need to say. Maybe you hate me, maybe you like me, maybe you want to break up, maybe you want to make up, maybe I’ve been the embodiment of every single one of your pet peeves for the past five years and have been ignorant to all signs of your passive aggression and now you finally can’t take it anymore, I don’t care WHAT it is, nothing can be worse than WAITING for whatever it is that you need to say :)

Waiter Boy.

Here I am at my favorite local crawfish restaurant for an early dinner with friend A, waiting patiently for the waiter boy to turn around so I could achieve eye contact which would signal him that we were ready to order. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night prior and thus was experience something of a brain slush, which is what explains the goofy blank expression. After a couple minutes of staring at his back, the boy turned around and we got eye contact.

I smiled at him in what I thought was adequate signaling, but much to my surprise the boy just turned back around and busied himself with other things. A couple moments later, it happened again!

After a few more times of this strange occurence, I was getting more than a bit confuzzled when A interjected and unwearyingly explained that a stare+smile was NOT standard social procedure for flagging down a waiter in a restaurant. She then displayed proper restaurant protocol with the "Excuse me"+ hand raise and the boy immediately flew thither to our table to take our order.

It was only as the waiter boy left with our order when everything that had just transpired started making HORRIFIC AND ABSOLUTE SENSE.

What I had intended to be innocent nonverbal signaling for him to come take our order..

Fig. A: What I thought I looked like.

...The waiter boy had misconstrued as a lecherous freak woman checking him out (!!!!)

Fig. B: What terrified waiter boy thought I looked like.

Alas! My reputation at that restaurant: tarnished!!! :(

Bow ties.

I love bow ties. Bow ties make every person and thing and animal become So. Much. More. Awesome!

Fox in Bow tie.

Boy in boy tie.

Fat singing birdy in bow tie.

Slice of organic whole-wheat bread in bow tie.

Bow tie in bow tie!

Hi J.

J is back from her month-and-a-half long China adventure!

Aside from a kinda pretty bad acne breakout (points and laughs) she looks the same :)

Turkey Day 2011.

Night Run.

‘Oh don’t mind me I’m just a cute little college student yessiree.’

I love that I live close enough to Yogurtland to pop in whenever I want and also close enough to a major University for it to be acceptable to be out in a public retail space in my jammies, a social acquiescence that is sadly only extended to college students.

Yesterday My Office Phone Rang.

I promptly hung up on the foo.

IV Drip 2005.

Once in my early college years whilst visiting Korea, I came down with a pretty severe stomach bug and ended up in a small neighborhood hospital stuck to an IV drip. I was in a large empty room with three beds situated well out of the way of any doctor, nurse, or human, and was left to soak up all the fluids entirely alone with nothing to stare at but the IV bag hovering over my head.

When only about a quarter of the liquid was left in the bag, and no nurse or attendant had come to check up on me, I started to worry.

This was the first time ever in my life stuck on an IV drip and I had never thought to ever inquire anyone of what happens once all the liquid in an IV bag gets drained into one’s body and the needle not immediately removed. The only thing I knew was a gut feeling that bad things would happen, and dread started creeping over me as the liquid continued to drain into my arm.

I was breaking out into cold sweats by the time I saw the last of the liquid leave the bag and start traveling freakishly fast down the tube toward my arm. I wanted to call a nurse but in my state of abject terror forgot what they were called in Korean. I frantically considered ripping the needle out of my arm myself but I couldn’t muster the gut to do so. Instead I watched in horror as the last of the liquid zooped into my arm…

WARNING: The next portion of this story is not suitable for squeamish adults or children under 10. 

 …And then nearly passed out when BLOOD (!!!!!!) started being sucked through the needle and traveling up the tube.

When the nurse finally showed up, my blood had all but started pooling into the IV bag from whence all the IV liquid had originated, having travelled all the way up the ridiculously long tube.

The nurse’s face went pale with alarm at the sight of me hooked to a tube-full of blood on the bed, but she artfully maintained composure lest she damage me any further.

Word of the Day.

Three times in a row just because, my current word love:

per•snick•et•y/pərˈsnikətē/ Adjective: 1: Placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details; fussy. 2: Requiring a particularly precise or careful approach.

Just love how all the jaunty syllables come together in my mouth to yummy perfection omnomnom.

Blast to the Past.

So I know I’ve been pretty lax on posts lately; I haven’t felt much urge to draw this week. But do I have a treat for you! A post from my whiney college-days XANGA blog I randomly found on the Interwebs! You could call it a very rudimentary prototype of the SusanDraws blog you know and love today :)

Now let us all time travel back six years, into the mind of fresh-faced 20-year-old Susan, into the life of college-student Susan during her study abroad year in Korea:

Saturday, 29 October 2005

yesterday night after chapel service i arrived at our villa complex-thingy at around 11:30pm. the door leading into the basement parking garage was closed so i had to walk around to the front gates where the sad excuse of a security system had me punch in numbers to unlock the door. (secret: the door's password is only the whole vertical line of center numbers in any order, if you had half a brain you could tell this by the fact that the white print of these numbers had been clear rubbed off the buttons by use.)

proceeding into the building i saw that a lady was just getting into the elevator so i bid her wait for me and ran in with her. so started the awkward elevator journey to the fourth floor.

blast it all, that 10 second exertion of energy had taken my breath away and i found that my already normal heavy breathing had turned into this shoulder heaving gasp and gulping of air that sounded not unlike an obese person having an athsma attack.

i was well aware that my heavy breathings sounds were reverberating and echoeing around the drasted metal box that was lugging us too slowly up the innards of the building and i tried everything to remain as far from her as possible for fear that she wouldn't mistake me for a pervert or a wierdo.

after the third floor i concluded that i'd probably already been labled as both but i thanked God that atleast i was female and not a man who would have REALLY been misunderstood as a pervert.

on the fourth floor she politely bid me goodnight before leaving and i was left alone in the elevator, suddenly free to breath as disgustingly as i wanted.

Rainy Friday.

Hello cloud, hello rain :)

Halloween Redux.

Fig. A: Arriving at work on Halloween 2007 in authentic Thailand University uniform.

My first Halloween as a working person fresh from college was merely two weeks after I started, when I was still an impressionable noob and 100% of my knowledge of the office was derived entirely from the US sitcom The Office. I had just discovered the series that summer, and had spent the months after graduation and leading up to employment holed up in my room marathoning the thing. After three seasons of that, I was understatedly excited for Halloween because I thought every office in the world of course went all out for Halloween like they do on TV.

Reality: I ended up the only person dressed up and the mortified target of many a confused stare throughout the entire day.



Reality was harsh.

PPS.

Coming Soon to a table near you: the Great Post-prandial Somnolence of Thanksgiving Weekend 2011.

Post-prandial Somnolence: a normal state of drowsiness or lassitude following a meal, also known by the more ignorant common masses as “food coma.” But WE are not those masses. We are the hyper-intelligent elite that annoyingly replace colloquial terms with obsolete and pretentious verbiage cause being one of the masses was SO yesterday (adjusts hipster glasses).

Victory.

Note: Click image to experience in all it's epic fullness

Yesterday I officially finished all my Christmas shopping and felt the unspeakable elation of an EPIC WIN. I always do make an annual point to start Christmas shopping early to beat the crowds and seasonal madness but yesterday sets a personal record. Somehow having purchased all my gifts in October, long before radio channels start playing Christmas music and long before stores hang up their Christmas banners and set up fake Santa photo booths made me feel like I had somehow beat the system.

I BEAT YOU, SYSTEM.

New Hair Again

Went to a salon to clean up after my homemade bangs-cut a couple weeks back. Like!

Target Checkout.

Dear Mr. Target cashier man:

The offensively typical conclusion you made about me based upon my completely coincidental yet admittedly stereotypical combination of product choices was… absolutely correct, sir.

Bye J.

J has been planning a six week long vacation to her not-mother-land China for about half a year now and as the day of her departure drew near, friends started to fret for my well-being.



I was not sure why this trip would merit anyone’s concern as it wasn’t the first time J up and jetsetted halfway across the planet for more than a month at a time.



So while everyone else spent the days up to her leave saying mushy things, giving her farewell gifts, buying her meals… I spent most of that time splitting our checks and harping at her to get rid of the evil sweet potato plant in our front yard.

Then yesterday night she left and I found myself with an unexpected and belated sad that I guess everyone but me had seen coming.

Hiking Blind.

Say Cheese.

Happy Friday :D A random warm-fuzzies inducing drawing of flower-hair-girl and mini-kitty-boy who is scared that the camera might flash on him and render him blind for three terrifying seconds. He’s had some traumatic experiences with unexpected flashes in the past, the poor thing.

Classy Ladies.

Fig. A: Three grown adults at a museum.

J, our mutual friend C, and I thought we'd dress up all shnazzy and have a classy ladies day out to brunch and a museum last saturday afternoon but ended up (as we always do) class-lessly giggling and screeching like pre-teens and creating a general ruckus earning no less than a few disapproving evil eyes from security guards and classy white grannies.
Fig B: The Classy White Granny Glare.